Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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