well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
