It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm getting married
To pizza
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
