At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
