The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
