i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
