Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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