happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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