I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
