fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
