chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
