She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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