Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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