I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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