Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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