why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I party with great urgency now.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
