oh god the rape fog is back!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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