You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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