I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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