Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
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Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
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It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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