So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
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She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
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There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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