I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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