as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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