M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
