the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We are all done wearing pants today
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
