Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Bring me that man meat
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
