While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
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The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
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I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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