i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
