i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
