Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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