For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
