I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
