it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
