Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I met the friendliest cop last night
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
