Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
