I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
