He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
