I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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