The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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