Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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