Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize