dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
