If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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