Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
