Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
