I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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