Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
