And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
