you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've blown a few things in my day
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
