so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize