We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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