I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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