Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
