Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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