i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
