you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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