i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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