He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
