This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We're not piercing ourselves today.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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