Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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