She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
