I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
