I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
