my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
