it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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