if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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