There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
