Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
