she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
