Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
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