And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
