Michael Bay diarrhea
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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