i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
