I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
