I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
