Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
